hungry, must have realized the neighborhood was getting restless. She decided she
needed to make an example of me before the meeting.
It was a Tuesday evening. I was watering the front lawn when Brenda marched up my
driveway, accompanied by Gary. She looked furious. "Mr. Davis," she barked, "I am
issuing a cease and desist. You have been harassing our board members and stirring up
trouble in my neighborhood." I turned off the hose and faced her. "Your neighborhood,
Brenda? I think you mean our neighborhood. And asking for legally required financial
documents isn't harassment."
She stepped uncomfortably close, jabbing a finger at my chest. "You're going to pay
that HVAC fine, and you're going to stop talking to the other neighbors, or I will make
sure you lose this house. I have friends in the county court." I took a step back, pointing
up at the subtle dome camera mounted under our porch awning. "I hope your friends
in court like high-definition audio and video, Brenda, because you just threatened me
on camera. Now get off my property."
Brenda's face turned crimson. She wasn't used to being defied. Instead of leaving,
she pulled out her cellphone and dialed 911. Right there on my driveway, she began to
put on the performance of a lifetime. "Help! Please!" she cried into the phone, her voice
shaking with fake terror. "I'm a neighborhood official, and a homeowner is threatening
me! He's being violent! I fear for my life! Please send officers immediately!" She hung
up and gave me a wicked, triumphant smirk. "Let's see how tough you are when you're
in handcuffs, Mark."
I stood in stunned silence. Did she really just fake a 911 call? Gary looked a bit nervous,
shifting his weight from side to side, but he stayed put. I didn't run or panic. I simply
pulled out my phone and texted Sarah, who was inside getting ready for her night shift.
*'Brenda just called the cops on me. Faked an assault. Come out.'*
Within five minutes, the wail of sirens pierced the quiet evening. Two local police
cruisers came tearing down the street, their lights flashing, illuminating the manicured
lawns in stark red and blue. They stopped aggressively at an angle, blocking the street.
Three officers jumped out, their hands resting on their holstered weapons. A call about
a violent man threatening a woman always warranted a heavy response.
Brenda immediately turned on the waterworks, running toward the officers.
"Officers! Thank God! He's completely unhinged! He threatened to hit me! I'm just