The teenage locksmith, watching from the safety of the sidewalk, smartly slammed the gate shut, abandoning the HOA president to her fate.
"Help! Call the police!" Patricia wailed, finally managing to kick her left loafer off to distract Maximus. The alpha goose stopped to violently attack the shoe, buying Patricia just enough time to scramble over the wooden gate like a terrified squirrel, tumbling onto the concrete sidewalk on the other side. She lay there, hyperventilating, her floral blouse torn, clutching her bruised shins.
By the time the police arrived—called by Patricia herself—Marcus was already standing casually in his driveway, holding a tablet. Patricia, missing a shoe and trembling with rage, pointed a shaking finger at him.
"Arrest him!" she sobbed to the officers. "He set wild animals on me! He tried to have me killed!"
Marcus didn't raise his voice. He simply handed the tablet to the lead officer. "Officers, this woman hired a locksmith to destroy my property and trespass in my locked, private yard while I was 'away'. As you can see, the gate was secured, and there is a massive yellow warning sign right there."
The officer watched the crystal-clear 4K footage of Patricia commanding the locksmith to cut the lock, followed by her spectacular, chaotic retreat from the geese. The officer tried, and failed, to suppress a smile. He handed the tablet back to Marcus and turned to Patricia.