"Ma'am," Arthur replied calmly, "you're trespassing. And this corn stays."
"We'll see about that," she sneered. "We have easements. We have legal rights to manage the aesthetic borders of our community."
The next morning, Arthur was awakened by the grinding gears of a heavy-duty brush hog and a landscaping crew. Eleanor stood on the pavement, directing a contracted crew to tear down the first row of Arthur's corn.
Arthur didn't yell. He didn't run out waving a shotgun. Instead, he calmly picked up his phone, called the local Sheriff's department to report a trespass and property destruction, and brewed a pot of coffee. He poured a thermos, grabbed a thick manila folder from his safe, and walked down to the edge of the field.
Sheriff Miller’s cruiser pulled up, lights flashing in the morning mist. Eleanor immediately rushed to the officer’s window, playing the victim.
"Officer, thank goodness you're here!" she exclaimed. "This man is aggressive, he's violating our HOA zoning laws, and he's interfering with our authorized landscapers. We are seizing this plot of land as a community nuisance!"