He could have walked straight to Brenda’s door and ended the nonsense with one phone call.
Instead, he folded the paper and set it aside.
Sometimes people revealed more when they believed they were winning.
So Ethan waited.
The next morning, a red notice was taped to his front door.
FINAL WARNING.
FAILURE TO PAY OUTSTANDING FINES WILL RESULT IN ARREST.
He left it there.
Another appeared the next day.
Then two more.
Someone wanted him frightened.
Someone wanted him to believe handcuffs were coming.
Ethan knew better.
Still, he said nothing.
He went to work.
He came home.
He waited.
And on Friday morning, Brenda finally sent someone to his door.
The Men with Plastic Badges
Ethan opened his front door and found two men standing in the driveway.
Their uniforms almost looked convincing from a distance.
Almost.
The badges were cheap plastic.
The patches did not match.
One man held a clipboard with exaggerated confidence.
The other stood beside him with his shoulders pushed back, trying desperately to look official.
“Are you the homeowner?” the taller man asked.
Ethan folded his arms.
“Who’s asking?”
The man cleared his throat.
“We’re with the Homeowners Association Enforcement Division.”
Ethan nearly smiled.
The shorter man nodded.
“We’re here regarding your outstanding violations.”
“Is that so?”
The taller man lifted his clipboard.
“There is an active warrant for your arrest.”
Ethan raised an eyebrow.
“Do you now?”
“Per HOA code violations, you have repeatedly failed to comply with community regulations. We’re here to bring you in.”
Ethan allowed the silence to stretch.
Then he said, “All right. Show me the warrant.”
The two men exchanged a look.
“You already received the notice,” the shorter one said.
“No,” Ethan replied. “The real warrant.”
Neither moved.
“Show me the court-issued arrest warrant.”
The taller man shifted his feet.
“Well... the HOA board issued it.”
Ethan nodded slowly.
“Oh. The HOA board.”
He reached into his back pocket.
“Tell me something. Does the HOA have the authority to make arrests?”
Neither man answered.
Ethan removed a badge.
It was real.
The gold flashed in the morning sunlight.
Both men stared.
Ethan held it between two fingers.
“United States Marshals Service.”
The taller man’s face drained of color.
The shorter one took a step backward.
Ethan’s voice remained calm.
“You have just attempted to detain a federal law-enforcement officer.”
Silence.
“I have two questions.”
The clipboard shook slightly in the taller man’s hands.
“First, where exactly is your authorization to conduct arrests?”
Nothing.
“Second, would you like me to charge you with impersonating law enforcement before or after I run your names?”
The clipboard hit the ground.
The shorter man turned and ran.
The taller man followed seconds later.